Never going back..

So I'm again single mom of seven kids. This time i couldn't be happier to be single lol i cant believe i dealt with that crap for all those years lol after nearly a year without him and no contact,no drama.. and then having him around even for two months or so was more then enough to remind me that omg wtf was i ever thinking lol its hilarious how blind you can become over the bullshit we call love. good thing i have learned threw life that nothing lasts forever and everything must one day come to an end. In some way i wish i was more upset and actually felt something over him being gone again..maybe it would make me feel..i dunno..human. but i don't..Like i feel like i don't have any feelings to give anymore.. like I'm not capable of feeling anything at all. its scary but enlightening at the same time. I remember a time when i cried day and night for months.. i couldn't eat,sleep nothing. It tore my heart out time and time again watching him walk away like we didn't matter just to come back when he had nothing better going on then me or his kids.. I truly believe that with every gift we are given comes a price to pay for it and I have my children and my only daughter thanks to him.. but i paid a deep price for him being their father and having to deal with him due to the fact. I have always thought and still do believe a father is just as important in a child's life as a mother is but like a mother.. a father is only important if they make themselves important in their child's life. I wished with all my heart and soul for it to work for so long that now that i have seen first hand that no matter what it never will.. i can move on and not ever look back.. and for once I'm happy about it.