An update!

So I took a break for awhile. I really needed to get threw things and FINALLY I did. Ryan and I have been apart since Last august and I have my seven kids, Chris takes our older three boys every weekend still, so more or less the only thing that has changed in regards to all that last year drama is Ryan and I are no longer on speaking terms and he doesn't see his children and refuses to pay child support for any of them. BUUTTTTT I do have one really amazing change in my life. His name is Nico. I don't think I have laughed like I do with him in years. Honestly he's truly amazing. He is motivated to make change in life, he's handy and a hard worker and my kids adore him which is a huge thing for me.. he also has a cute bum lol I really enjoy his company and I haven't been able to say that about someone in a long time. Every time I am with him he makes me laugh and he is so good to us. Its something I am working on getting used to. Its not easy learning to trust again..I know he notices that It isn't easy for me to just sit down and let someone else handle things or just try and give me a break. He is really something else and I don't know exactly where this is going but I cant wait to find out. Another thing I would like to share is the greatest bestie in the entire world. Her name is Wendi. This girl has seen me threw the toughest and darkest time in my life and I her as well. She is the only person I have met in my life that has seen the same dark lonely road I had to go down all my life. We have so much in common that its rather scary at times but honestly she has been such a great support for me and I would be so lost without her and her family. Her boys are so sweet and everyday they give me a reason to smile and laugh. So bright and such colorful personalities and my daughter Meyah would be lost without her buddies Juj(Justin) & LoLo(Logan.. yes another logan lol) they are amazing boys and we all adore them. My nephew Zach recently moved in and he is really good friends with her older son Kyle and Her oldest and only daughter Sam is awesome. She's a young woman any mother would be proud of. Almost forgot to tell you all that I had my beautiful son Connor Joel James Joseph Marshall on Jan 29th 2015. I had my mom and my cousin Shay with me for delivery. Ryan didn't come..not for a month after he was born and he only saw him a handful of times since. I have come to terms that connor and probably Colten will never know their father and as sad as that is since I did everything in my power to prevent that its probably for the better anyways. Connor is 6 months and is a whopping 21LBS he's a super chunker lol I'll post about Connors birth and what not another night its so insane I don't even believe I went threw it all and came out sane lol Did menschen that I broke my foot at 8+months pregnant lol :/ yea really crazy story let me tell ya lol But for now I am off to relax while I have the chance before bed. bye for now!! xo