Have you ever had someone in your life that you cant imagine living without but if you could chock the life out of them and get away with it you might actually stop and think about it for a minute..Yea i have one of those too and unfortunitly i had four kids with him lol As poisonous as he is to me, my kids love their dad and i know how it feels to grow up fatherless and not know the person who created you..and i saw what my kids dad turned out to be with a father who was in and out of his life and a dad who played daddy to everyone elses kids except his own son..well sadly like father like son and as much as its not my job to defend or keep his relationship between him and his kids.. in my eyes it really is. They're family is so selfish and self obsorbed that no one would defend my kids. they all turned their backs on his entire generation so for them to do it to my kids wouldnt be a huge surprise really. If my kids are going to beat the parenting issues and growing up with dad gone and mom to tired and stressed to actually enjoy being a mom then i need to step up and do something different because by deffinition insanity is doing the same thing over and over again exspecting different results.. and as out there and out spoken that i am i really would like to think that i'm not compeletely insane. I deal with him and all his stupidity and ignorance because i know if i dont fight for his kids future then no one else will. Have you ever had to put yourself into something you really had no interest in doing but it was what was Best for someone you would take a bullet for so you suck it up and deal with it anyways.. yea its That! lol Call me neive but i like to think that everyone has a good side or at least i used to till My kids dad proved me wrong..and sadly its not just one person its an entire family run on lies,stealing and desception. Growing up with a family that runs off money and how much you can spend on yourself and it doesnt matter who you step on to get it..even each other. I yes grew up in facs as a "foster kid" and i got to learn that you put others first. you dont have to be rich to be a good person, to help people, to make a difference, to love someone because you actually care not because genetics says you have to. Living in such a way; so angry and selfish..
it must really suck to live like that. I may have lived a ruff childhood but those very few people in my childhood that i actually felt genuine love from..Those people stood out and made me know that Love is the least selfish thing on this earth and everyone needs it, weather they deserve it or not. our human body; human nature seeks love,acceptance and security and its sad that some people are actually taught the exact opposite of this and it sticks. People in my life have shown me shady, evil ways and lied,cheated,stole and used me..but i see these people after they do such evil things to someone like me knowing i would never do those things to them.. i honestly ad truly feel sorry for them. My soul cries for the sadness and self hating these people have inside themselves. i could never imagine what i would think of myself if i had become what people tried to make me be.. I was determined to NOT be like them.. like all the mean,evil,selfish people in the world..It may suck to be a nice person sometimes but i would rather be me then have to look at myself in the mirror knowing i was like them..
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