Ever have that one person...

So lately me and my younger soon to be four children's dad have been at our end with each other.

I really hate that things have taken such a bad turn for our relationship but "It Is What It Is"

I Dont Believe that the "teenaged" man or so he acts.. laying on my couch is the same person i gave my heart to. 

I dont believe he can change from this lazy,mean,bitter person he's allowed himself to become will ever change or become the man i fell for. I wish he would, i have prayed to God so many times to please just give me My Ryan back.. if not for me then for his children's sake. And he just gets worse and worse as time goes by. He refuses to see that there is a problem, no sorry that's wrong.. He blames me for literally EVERYTHING. and its not just us its literally everything in his life,the world..its all my fault. I'm just sick of picking up his slack and trying to force him to love and pay attention to his kids. I am not the one slacking around my home,with my kids.. I feel Anger and Pain every single day..but i still get up with my kids, i still do everything for them. I still pick up his slack in our families lives. Like today, His mother,step dad and his brother are coming to take our two oldest of my and his kids and I have to get them ready and things together for them to go while he lays around on my couch after sleeping till 10:30am and worst he isnt even going with them or going to move off my couch the entire day. I broke my foot a month or so ago.. he treated me like shit while i took care of six kids,cooked,cleaned, even broke the heel of my cast from having to walk around on it till i got sick of it and cut it off myself.. did i mention that i was also pregnant with a cast for four weeks.. oh and that i have osteoporosis and have for about 8yrs now.. Honestly NONE of this even mattered to him. He was so cruel and told me i was Milking my broken foot while i was the only parent that my younger kids had to count on..even had the nerve to tell me a few days ago that i faked my broken foot. I have tried so hard to get him to stop his garbage and go seek help but he refuses. its sad that such a good man could turn into such a horrible human being. I cant stand anything about him anymore. The reasons i fell for him was cuz he loved my kids,he was stable,he was a hard worker, he was a good person, always fought for the lil guy and was that guy that bullied the bullies for picking on girls or people smaller then they were... But Now.. He's that guy. Alot of the time lately i wish he wasnt even my kids father. They'd be better off with no dad then someone like him at this point. It wasnt always like this. He was an amazing person that came into our lives when me and my three older boys had no one to count on. But ppl change and feelings change. My kids don't get love,attention or effection from him and neither do I. He thinks of him and only him.. So I feel its time for me to worry about me and mine and just pretend like he doesn't exist..